January.

I never would have know it was going to be so hard. Detoxing and all. I've decided to work on myself. In a way I've never done before. It's all new and junk. It's going to be good in the long run, I think. Sometimes I wonder if it's actually worth it. I think it is. Either way, I'm detoxing.

Yesterday at Huddle we talked about something GREAT. I really hope that it all works out the way I want it to. Evangelism is such a scary word to hear, for most people. However, it doesn't scare me at all. My heart breaks for those who are lost. The people in norman, in Oklahoma, in the States, in this country, in other countries. People need Jesus. Keep breaking our hearts so we can go to them. Deal?

From Seeds to Trees.

How is it that now I'm realizing everything?

Everything to be realized, I've done it. I know I have.

That's not really true...

But I have realized that it's been almost three and a half years since I was in August 24, 2007.

I can't get this place out my my brains.

Even though I've been everywhere.

Z-Town

M-Town.

B-Town.

S-Town.

E-Town.

S-Town.

M-Town.

and

S-Town.

It's time to go to

A- town now.

A town is going to be like this:

Filled with music. To be filled with Music. To be filled with Jesus. With the Lord.

To work. ARt work. CREATE. Become more like the King. The CREATOR. To be like the creator, and create as often as possible. To be inspired. To watch documentaries. To Read. To listen. To be in class for the first time in over two years. To dream more dreams in Sufjan. In beautiful color. To lay in the grass. To swing into the sky with Jesus. To be alone. To be with just me. To love the things that have been created here. To grow up. To be more capable. to have opportunity. To travel. To love friends more. Want, Want I want.

So it seems..

This is a semester of growth and knowledge.

The seeds are planted. Now they need harvested and nurtured. Loved and watered.

May they not be neglected or forgotten.

May their roots grow deep and grow up tall into a marvelous Tree.

...

Well, I guess I made some kind of break through today.

I only know it was in the form of words.

Simple words with held for three and a half months.

It was ok.

Anyway, I'm feeling sleepy tonight. Waiting to to watch some more Grey's Anatomy.. I know.. It's the only tv show I've been able to start from the beginning, so I'm into it until the end i guess.

I had the day off today. It was kind of nice. A little funny though. I was bored, I'm NEVER bored. I never have enough time to be bored. So it never happens. On my day of boredom i went to the Mall, which is another thing i never do. I even drove 30 minutes to Penn Square Mall. I looked mostly, but did a little buying as well. For my brothers and a roommate, i got some nice gifts I suppose. I've never been to the mall alone like I was today. There are some creepy dudes that work at Journeys, ladies. Watch yourselves. But enjoy yourselves as well.

I'm writing tonight because I've nothing better to do, I guess. I miss my best friend. She's all married now. Busy with work, school, and a husband to tend to. I had hoped she would spend some time with me today. She was busy. It's alright. I went anyway, and enjoyed myself very much actually. Hope you're well Bestie. I luff ya.

aL

Jungly-Desert

Well, there's been a lot going on, for a while now. A lot of nothing, but a lot of something too.

It's finally getting cold outside. I'm really happy about that, as long as i have enough clothes on. I love Winter time the most, as long as i have a coat for my shoulders and a scarf for my neck.

Although it's Winter, I'm starting to feel like Summer. Dry, parched, and mostly thirsty. It feels like i hear the same things every week. I continue to re-learn everything i learned two years ago. I was filled with new-ness. I was excited to be growing in new friendship. The most blessing I've ever received. Today i can only remember those thoughts and feelings. Yes, I am still visited by the blessings. Yes, I still know those people, but somehow life turns and we lose our acquaintance.

However, I've decided to learn from this Summer. This desert-like land. It's almost a desert. It's more of a desert surrounded by flourishing plant life, that's fenced in. Fenced in with the most beautiful picket fence anyone ever saw. I can smell the flowers and the fruit. I can reach over the fence, pluck a leaf off of the most beautiful tree that's ever grown, and produce it's shape in the sand I'm standing in.

Almost..

I'm not quite tall enough, aaaaaachoo! I'm allergic to the tree, and I can't seem to get the lines right in the sand. And my feet are burning.

I think I know everything there is to know about this jungle. Of course, I've only studied it from just outside the fence, and maybe just on the outskirts of in, but I've mostly found myself in this deserty land. Kind of here, but constantly curious about the greenery growing. I'm hoping to discover something new, but I can't seem to go farther into the trees. I'm scared? No. I'm bored? Maybe a little. Um, I'm distracted? Absolutely.

I know more about the jungle than i do about the sand, so maybe it's time to do some exploring. Learn all i can about the sand, my burning feet, and all about distraction.

A.

Man, I really love Johnna Avis, Tyler Dunn, and Justin Willis.

I want the whole world to know it!

With Powa Powa

IHOP,
I'm going to visit you in 12 days.
I wonder what you'll be like.

Will you melt me?
Please, will you melt me?
Like mush.

I want to.
I feel you and i mush.

What a Year

What a year it's been really.

A year of so much.

Parents Divorcing.

Heart Hurting.

Snow Loving.

Friend Making.

School Finishing.

Heart Hurting.

Job Getting.

Tree Climbing.

Heart Hurting.

Boyfriend Getting.

Birthdays Turning.

Heart Wandering.

Heart Learning.

Heart Jumping.

Heart Waiting.

Heart Hurting.

Heart Hating.

Heart Hurting.

Heart Forgiving.

Heart Forgetting.

Life Changing.

For Life.