Last night was by far the best night i have had in a long time. The Spirit of the sovereign Lord was upon me and it was quite clear. My first Saturday Night in history turned out to be a good one. THe Lord sent down his words like angels over me. The beautiful dialects spoken over me were incredible. I have been freed from darkness, just as it says in Isaiah 61:1-3. My past has been swept away from me and it no longer matters. THe Lord has forgotten my past and THe Lord is my Father who really cares about me. He loves me and i do not need the ones who i thought were to provide for me as i once did. It is not easy trusting the Lord in this, but i have to. I want to, and i need to. There was such goodness that came about. Satan has been rebuked over my life, as well as the 10 or so girls that were prayed over last night. The Enemy has no reign over us. Not anymore, or ever again.
The strangeness begins.
After the Lord spoke such truth over me and over so many others, the Enemy loves to come in and steal the treats that Lord gives. He is jealous and wants the goodness from the Lord to turn to bitterness. In which my drunkenness from last night poured over into this morning, but it was not the drunkenness form the Lord i had received. It was the drunkenness from the enemy that had me filled with bitterness and anger from the previous night. See, after the Lord spoke truth over me, Satan spoke lies. He convinced me of anger and confusion, bitterness and sadness. THe enemy stole my joy and freedom in the Lord and replaced it with these things. I couldn't handle it and i knew how to. I was just upset. i was angry, bitter, sad, conflicted, frustrated. The fruits of the enemy you could call it. I knew it was being spoke over me and i tried to just be frustrated and be a little mad, but what i also knew and was thinking of is why alex? why are you letting the Enemy take you in this way? Are you going to seriously let Satan take the truth i just spoke over you and turn them into lies???
Why would you do that? You know you have authority over him. Claim it and mean it Alex. Claim it and don't just be mad about it....but i just ignored the Lord and woke up feeling like crap.
Morning.
I wake up ridiculously early today for the choir junk i had to take care of (which turned out to be awesome.) I felt more tired than i ever have in my entire life i think. I had to get up. It's a grade. so instead of hemming my dress for choir i just cut the bottom of it off... (lame sauce and so unlike me.) i still felt as heavy this morning as i had hoped to leak it off in my sleep. I am glad i did not have bad dreams last night...but my dreams are protected so...thanks Jesus... but i woke up this morning and could barley move. i slept through the ride to the church. we sang and went and sat on the pews to wait for the other choirs sing and i fell asleep immediately. i have never slept in church before and i don't remember a thing. I layed my face on my hand and was out. Why? i have no idea, the enemy was using my tiredness for me to miss out on the worship i could have.. but i slept on. It was the weirdest sleep i have ever had. not fulfilling, i just needed it. like an addict needs his drug. and i had it. I finally got to take a nap, but then woke up with a headache... still unsatisfied.
Recovery.
Finally i realize as i wake up im totally hungover. not from alcohol, or the Lord but from the enemy and said nope. You can't do this to me anymore. Sorry, go away. and It was gone. i am still very tired right now, but i have authority and i feel better. no more fruits of the enemy, but truth from the Lord. The has spoken truth over me and i will not be held back. I will not be held back from anything. I am starting to ask the Lord to change my heart. It scares me, but i think it is what i want.
Thanks for your goodness Jesus, and your truth that has been spoken over me. I love you. Amen.
aL
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