alex is shell fishes.

So, i am sitting in PLaid, sitting. That is about it right now. I don't want to do my lame BIB. LIT homework because it is lame. OBVIOUSLY. not really, it's not that bad, but i wish i could get into it. THese next few weeks of schoola re going ot be killer i can already tell. I went through this after fall break... not wanting to do anythign but i have a bang load of crap to do all the time. I jsut ignore it. All i really want is some alone time. Just some time to play and draw a bit.

ON the other hand, The Lord is great. He has been blessing me with immense security. HE is telling me, " Alex. I know your desires. You don't have to keep telling me about them. I know what's up with your heart and you you are feeling. Stop talking to me about it ok. Shut UP!"

 Ok, ok God. I am goign to try and do my best at shutting up. YOu see, i am such a talker. Ask anyone, i can talk my life away, to anyone at that. I prefer a good listening ear, but also a responsive tongue.

School is amost out for the semester and it is so teasing me. It's hilarious. About the middle of hte semester i decided that i would be moving to NOrman, OKlahoma for the first time ever. IT is so weird, because now is the time where i am feeling like i am finally moving out. I already moved out of my parents house, yet i still run into my mom randomly across campus. I can jsut drive 15 min. back to yukon and kick it with ma and pa whenever i want. It's funny because i was expecting so much "newness" when i moved out, yet many things stayed the same as all the things i didn't imagine, changed.

 NOw i am looking for a ridiculous season of change in my moving. My sister and i looked at a house today. IT was a rush. Holy crap. My first house ever... My first time of paying rent... buying my own groceries.. what the heck. This will be the time of "newness" i thought i was going to be getting in August. Not that it's December,  i suppose "newness" is making its way to me. It freaks me out. I am trying to like it. I know i will love it when i get used to it.. but it's like starting all over... again.. it's lame.. but i guess it is what the Lord has for me.

SNU, i will miss you, but Norman, i will love you, unlike Bethany, OKlahoma.

so.. goodness about "newness"

hum. KAte Thompson. NOrman Community Church. Boyd and Brooks. I will love rolling that off my tongue. the simple corner of the back porch will help me to be filled with the sweetness of the Lord. Living with my sister. Being close to friends. hoping for more with the new friends the Lord has given me. Trusting the Lord is Good. Trusting that the Lord knows my desires. even when they are so many blocks away. THe Lord knows. He knows. sitting with friends who love me when i need them.

The Lord has delivered me out of my desert of the last 19 years of my life. It is a time of fruit. I can forget my past shitty friendships and look for the new blossoms that are bloming around me. THey are coming in pink and orange, red and beautiful. They are a gift from the Lord and it's quite nice.

I apologize for the clutter of this letter. It is all ovr the place, but that is how i am at times. All overthe place. Messy. And that's how i like it. I don't need order right now. Just chaos for the Lord. He is what i thirst for and hunger for. More you You Jesus, it's what i want and need. I can't pretend to imagine taht i know what you are goign ot be doing in the next few months, all i can pray for is jsut more of you and less of me. i love you. AMen.

aL