and because of my last post, i now feel this way:

So here is what else has been going on inside.

Some time since April, the Lord has released some cool stuff to me. I started spending some time with this guy whose heart and mind, and pretty much everything is differnet than anyone else i know. Then he brings his friend along. Then there is another girl who i feel like is coming into the picture. Anyway... their hearts are far from the Lord. I can feel the way they are feeling. I am capable of knowing how much sorrow they feel, and why they are feeling it. I can feel the pain they are feeling, the desperation. I can feel these thigns not because i spend hours and hours of time with them in coversation, but because the Lord is filling me and allowing me feel these thigns. The negative feelings that the enemy has put on them for so long. I am begining to feel the way a lost person feels, but not on behalf of myself, but on behalf of them.

Some time last month, I had this dream.. This is what happened from what i can recall:

I'm wading through this flood of water that is up to me neck. I'm inside this massive building that has been destroyed, and is falling to pieces everywhere. I'm trying really hard to wade though this water but there are people under the water holding on to my ankles. They can breath, but there were holding on to my legs so I would have to pull them through. I am so frustrated by this. I'm kicking at them to let go and trying to shake them off of me but they are still holding on. I finally get to the door of the building and i can get out. We are totally out of the water. So then they all just stand up and walk away. they don't say anything like, "Hey, thanks for pulling me through, or good job, thanks" Nothing, they jsut get up and walk away like nohting had ever happened. I'm PISSED at this. I am like are you serious, i just pulled you through this water and i get nothing.. Thanks.. Really.

and that was the end.

So last night i kind of got more of an interpretation of this.

My friends who are in a different stage of life than me have been on my heart and mind constantly. I love them and desire to see the Lord work in their life. To see them rescued from drugs and alcohol, sex and everythign that comes with it. I pray and feel broken for them often, i feel like i am being dragged by my ankles wih nothing in return. I have had no energy to do anything other than what my scheduled life brings. I was feeling broken and held back for whatever reason. Then, last night Kate and i recalled this dream of me feeling like i was pulling someone else's weight.

Now i can find joy from pulling their weight. I don't expect anything in return from them, but pray for them to feel joy and love, peace, patience, hope.. everything that is the opposite of what they are feeling. When i feel sorrow out of no where, i know i am to pray for the one who feels sorrow, and pain, whatever it is. It's a realy weird thing being able to feel someone else's emotion, but it's pretty cool too. The Lord is teaching me in my alone time with him more and more.The Lord is trusting me with his children, giving me secrets into their hearts. The Lord is releasing a spirit of prophecy over me, i cannot be more grateful.

Thanks yo.