This week marks

One Year.

Approximately one year ago this week I met a group of people that have changed my life forever. I met a wonderful boy who brought me to this wonderful town I currently reside in. Just two weeks ago I got to thank him for introducing me to something called community, and a little town called Norman, Oklahoma.

This week marks a year of:
Friendship
Prophecy
Healing
Growth
Discernment
Family
Peace
Protection
Intercession
Beauty
Community
Dreams

It's been a year since hearing and learning about this and that, but it's been a wonderful wonderful process.

July-September '08:
Went to Falls Creek and met the person who took me to norman. Spent time with him and met his friends.

September-November '08:
Grew in deep friendship and became an active member of Norman Community Church.
Became healed of a parasitic something-or-another from Peru... which was a prophetic word give to me in Februaury '07.
Decided to NOT go to Uganda, Africa for 2 months in the upcoming summer.

December '08:
Had an itense dream that led me to peace, understanding, and love for my family.
Moved to Norman and left Bethany/SNU.

January- April'09:
Cintinued to grow in friendship with people from campus cluster.

MAY 8, 2009:
Turned 20 and had the best b-day i could ask for.

June '09:
Moved away from my sister and niece and in with Kate, Bri, Carter, and Emily.
God decided I would be friends with some awesome people and gave me a HUGE burden for them. He also gave me their emotions.. ( Refer to my last 2 posts.)

July '09:
Started going to a new house church, International Cluster.
Continued to grow in learning how to manage the hopelessness of others, and how to bring hope to the hopeless. Determined this was the reason I had stayed home this summer and didn't go to Uganda for the summer.

July 29, 2009:
Will continue to celebrate the community I have become apart of this week one year ago.

So thanks to all of you wonderful people I now care for deeply and love very much.

Thank you.

aL

and because of my last post, i now feel this way:

So here is what else has been going on inside.

Some time since April, the Lord has released some cool stuff to me. I started spending some time with this guy whose heart and mind, and pretty much everything is differnet than anyone else i know. Then he brings his friend along. Then there is another girl who i feel like is coming into the picture. Anyway... their hearts are far from the Lord. I can feel the way they are feeling. I am capable of knowing how much sorrow they feel, and why they are feeling it. I can feel the pain they are feeling, the desperation. I can feel these thigns not because i spend hours and hours of time with them in coversation, but because the Lord is filling me and allowing me feel these thigns. The negative feelings that the enemy has put on them for so long. I am begining to feel the way a lost person feels, but not on behalf of myself, but on behalf of them.

Some time last month, I had this dream.. This is what happened from what i can recall:

I'm wading through this flood of water that is up to me neck. I'm inside this massive building that has been destroyed, and is falling to pieces everywhere. I'm trying really hard to wade though this water but there are people under the water holding on to my ankles. They can breath, but there were holding on to my legs so I would have to pull them through. I am so frustrated by this. I'm kicking at them to let go and trying to shake them off of me but they are still holding on. I finally get to the door of the building and i can get out. We are totally out of the water. So then they all just stand up and walk away. they don't say anything like, "Hey, thanks for pulling me through, or good job, thanks" Nothing, they jsut get up and walk away like nohting had ever happened. I'm PISSED at this. I am like are you serious, i just pulled you through this water and i get nothing.. Thanks.. Really.

and that was the end.

So last night i kind of got more of an interpretation of this.

My friends who are in a different stage of life than me have been on my heart and mind constantly. I love them and desire to see the Lord work in their life. To see them rescued from drugs and alcohol, sex and everythign that comes with it. I pray and feel broken for them often, i feel like i am being dragged by my ankles wih nothing in return. I have had no energy to do anything other than what my scheduled life brings. I was feeling broken and held back for whatever reason. Then, last night Kate and i recalled this dream of me feeling like i was pulling someone else's weight.

Now i can find joy from pulling their weight. I don't expect anything in return from them, but pray for them to feel joy and love, peace, patience, hope.. everything that is the opposite of what they are feeling. When i feel sorrow out of no where, i know i am to pray for the one who feels sorrow, and pain, whatever it is. It's a realy weird thing being able to feel someone else's emotion, but it's pretty cool too. The Lord is teaching me in my alone time with him more and more.The Lord is trusting me with his children, giving me secrets into their hearts. The Lord is releasing a spirit of prophecy over me, i cannot be more grateful.

Thanks yo.

Here it is, finally.

Alright, Alright. It's taken me forver to get some time to actually put into words the shifting that has begun to occur.

To start off, i haven't had any coke or Dr.Pepper today, which i usually start my day out with one of those, so shift #1, that i hope will shift back to normal by tomorrow...

Really now.

Since April, I have felt the Lord calling me to be alone with him. 

Alex, just sit with me. Stop spending all of your time with your friends, who I know you love, but just hang out with me. Let ME tell you you are great, let ME tell you you are cool. I know you LOVE spending time with your friends, and that you love them all so very much.. But please... come be alone with me.

So May comes around I am looking forward to going to Saturday Night in Edmond, ( Bible Study thing with awesome worship, every last saturday of the month) pretty much all month. So it finally becomes SAturday and I go. Nothing crazy or amazing seems to happen, but i continue to feel the Lord drawing me into intmacy with him. I want to be alone with you alex, He keeps whispering to me.

I had been hearing that for a while but i just have a hard time sacrifcing my social time. The thing is, i am a very busy girl. I work 30 hours a week, and go to hair school for 20 hours a week. I have 2 evenings off a week from school. Monday and Friday. Then i have cluster sunday, and hair school until 5 on saturdays. There isn't one day of the week that i don't have something planned that is a part of my weekly schedule... As you can see... the two evenings a week that i feel like are the free-est ones i have is the time that i want to hang out ith my friends, watch movies, go swimming, whatever.. 

But i have felt like the Lord has drawn me into a time of just being alone. It is hard, because this is the first time in my life where i have actualy had a group of friends who i feel really care about me, who desire to be close to me, and my feelings actually be the same.

Sacraficing the 2 days a week that I have for fun time isn't exactly what i WANT to do... but he wants me to. I have found in the last few times I would go and hang out with the big groups of people, i would enjoy it of course, but would just feel so drained in the middle of conversations.. I would just want to be home and be alone, away from loads of people. Partys are just too much for me to handle at this point. I used to THRIVE off of lots of people around, but now i just want to be alone, or with one or two people instead of 10 people or something. And it's not that i had lost interest in the people i choose to spend time with, it's just i don't want to spend time with a lot of people all at the same time....  ( sorry for the rambling.)

So the first weekend in June approached and i went to celebration. I had been feeling before every time I was around people i didn't want to be there half way through, but I also couldn't stop myself from wanting to go at all... SO i would go, kind of not want to be there, then leave... I still wanted to go even though i knew i wouldn't really want to be there.  anyway.......

Celebration:

I go up and a couple friends pry for me. I finally feel the Lord releasing himself on me in spending alone time with him. I finally, after 2 months of feeling weird, i actually WANT to spend alone time with the Lord. Like an intense desire that is still growing. I am learning how to be alone with the Lord. Teach me how to be alone with you. alone. ALONE!

To Be Alone With You.

Starting in June, i moved into a new house with my best friend and 3 other roommates I have really enjoyed it. I love living here and it makes getting around norman much easier. It also has a since of freedom here. I feel like where i am living, i don't have to go out and try to find something to do, it just comes here. People come over and i can choose to be a part of the converstaion or i can go to my room and spend time with the Lord. I finally am able to paint and use my birthday presents (NEW ART SUPPLIES!!!!) and spend alone time with Jesus.

I used oil paint for the first time last week and it was great. I find spending time creating, painting,and working with several different mediums inspiring. The Lord is grwoing me more and more in love with colors. I love colors. They are such a gift.

Generally The Lord has brought me into a time of just He and I. I love it, it is great, and i only miss people on occasion..

Three weeks & 4 days ago,

I wrote about my upcoming future, which is currently my present.

The Lord has been drawing me into alone time with him. All the time. As in just me and Him. No one else. Alone. I'm quite the extrovert, so this is quite a challenge.

More to come later.

Here we go

Work: Cafe Plaid employee..

School: Anthony David Hair Academy

Other School: Oklahoma City Community College for the Fall Semester

Living Situation update: Kate Thompson, Emily Thompson, and Carter Faisen for Summer.

Fall Living update: Katie, Chuck, and Johnna.

My heart is wanting to be poured out into the things i am about to lose my life to. Much of my day is spent at plaid, but is now much of my time will be spent in OKC, at hair school. I currently have 587 hours of 1500 total to complete my schooling. Classes are from 4:30 to 8:30 P.M., every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday; and Saturdays 9 A.M. to 4 P.M.

Tomorrow i continue my education in Hair Design. I love doing hair a lot!  My hands desire and long to touch and fix the hair of people. Of strangers, of lovers, of friends, of those who seek His face. My heart desires to lead those who are weak and unsatisfied  into a place of comfort. I love to tell people they are beautiful, and the Lord has given me the ability to help people feel and look beautiful. I praise the Lord daily for putting in my spirit the desire to help people feel beautiful. As my hands touch those who are lost and hurting, the broken and the wounded, i pray for anointing hands, that as i wash their hair in the sink, it will be an anointing oil of Joy and gladness over them. As the old is washed away physically, the new comes. That the spirits that overwhelm them will have to go in Jesus' Name. And then,  Love and hope, joy, all things that are good from the Lord will captivate them and posses their hearts. They can't help but feel His spirit as i began to cut and color, dry and curl.

Lord posses the heart's of your lovers. Take them captive and draw them close to you as I spend time with them in a tiny, silly salon. 

Fill me with the spirit of love for that place. Love for the people who work there. Love for the old smelly cat lovers who come in for perms. You love them, and therefore i must as well. 

Come, holy spirit. Sweep me away like a sweep away hair on the floor.

A few months have passed

Man, I can't believe it has been almost a month since i have posted. It seems that a lot has happened in my life over the past couple months. The Lord has been teaching and growing me in so many different ways. I have gained so much.

I started a new job at Cafe Plaid. The famous hangout of Norm. Commers. by far. A place that the Lord has single handedly chosen to be special, to be full of light rather than darkness, and full of lovers, rather than those who are hurting and in pain. The employees are also full of the spirit and willing to love.

At some point i realized i was hurting, a little before Spring Break.

A certain person in my life pointed out to me that it was obvious. I went through 3 days of prayer and realized that this person was right and i had to do something. I had to do something to lift my spirit. I was struggling and didn't even realize it. I had numbed myself to feeling pain by those i loved the most. I sacrificed many things that i didn't even realize. After talking with the Lord and getting REALLY nervous, I had the opportunity to speak out what was hurting me to the person that was hurting me. I was TERRIFIED. The Lord came through for me. I knew that in having a suck conversation SO much good would come out of it. And it did. Since then, the hurting has stopped and the love of my friend and i has just grown and grown. I love my friend very much.

Another thing I'm thinking about: a tattoo...

woa.

My MOM will KILLLLL me.

but..

There is a little piece of me that is some what serious about getting one.

Isaiah 44 has been my favorite chapter of the Bible since 2006. I really like it. Since i discovered it a few years ago the first few verses stuck out to me very much. It speaks of things of belonging to the Lord. And the word "Jeshurun" is written. Which means chosen one. For some time now, I have been striving to give ALL of my heart to the Lord. ALL of me. ALL of me. I desire to be "rid of myself" and belong to the Lord fully. It's silly cause that's the theme of a friend of mine's life and it feels a little stolen, but It's good i guess. Anyway, the Lord has been speaking so sweetly to me. So beautifully and perfectly. I do belong to the Lord. I am his and he is mine. So, through all of this i want something to show for the way i feel about the Lord.

I also have a thing for trees, and I have said for years now that if I ever really did get a tattoo, it would be of a tree. SO, picture this:

The LORD'S 

written in the leaves of a tree.

The tree being full of colored leaves and blossoms, very beautiful and swirly..

On my left calf. Kind of big, but not huge. It's all still pretty up in the air, but in my mind as well.

What cha think???

ROOMIeS.

Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katie Gordon

Charlsey Brock

and

Johna Avis

for the fall baby. It's official.

Last night :

Went to Ginny's last night. Was BEAUTIFUL. Tanderai spoke last night and really hit me. It's been a long time since i have really connected with something i have heard in a "sermon." Tanderai spoke of living in your spirit.

Praying in the spirit.

Walking in the spirit.

and Learning how to separate your spirit from your flesh. 

I love thinking of this. It is a separate thing. functioning in the Spirit is consistent. Functioning in the flesh is inconsistent. I waver and wander when I'm trying to make things work but when I am in the Spirit, I just know what feels right, and what is real. What is a REAL feeling.

The tricky part is learning where your spirit comes in and where you mind comes in. I want to learn how to operate in the spirit at all times. How to separate my mind from my spirit. I want to be able to pray in the spirit at all times and crave spiritual milk. It's happening for me, I just have to keep practicing. 

Let's see, about 2 or 3 months ago maybe?

This dude names Shane gave me some prophetic words that were SO great. I have an entire page of things that he said to me that were CRAZY on. Just to say one thing that was on was this. " colors are going to begin to speak to you. Art and colors will become more vivid and stand out to you in different ways.."  Which has been happening to me within the last 3 weeks more than ever in my life. It is beautiful. I am  living in such a new way lately. In my past i LOVED to journal. I have probably 30 journals all filled from cover to cover. I have always loved and enjoyed expressing my feelings to the Lord in writing to him, but now i cannot get enough time to make art. I desire to paint more than I ever have and i want to create and make things for the Lord. To the Lord in worship. I just like to chill with Jesus as i paint. I can think of him and speak to him. It's nice, and fun too...

So, that's a bit of a recap of things lately. I love you all very much who take time and read this. You take the time to get to know me a bit more. Love. I love you so much.

              Goodnight.

And you will be filled with Joy.

Woa.
So tonight was Celebration. Yes.
There are a few different activities that happen through Norman Community Church and I have to say that Celebration is my very favorite of all the gatherings we have. Tonight I got to worship the Lord with my voice as I have done millions of times. I love singing to Lord and spending time with him that way. It's is my favoritre way of spending time with Jesus. I get all silly and dance a little bit, It's kid of ridiculous, but me and the Lord like it. For the first time ever tonight, the Lord released laughter upon me. The Joy of the Lord. A precious gift.

I stopped singing for a second. I looked around the room at all the people who were worshipping the Lord and spending time in his presence. IT was so beautiful. The Lord was capturing the hearts of his beloved children. His lovers. His treasures. I looked away and began to sing more. Then my friend Kate pulled me aside and said, I just looked over at everyone singing and and worshipping, It's so amazing. Look at how beautiful Liz looks. I then just started cracking up. I couldn't keep my mouth from laughing and my heart from celebrating. She said look at the JOY of the LORD all over you. I was like oh my gosh, YES! IT was beautiful. I felt so ridiculous. I was singing and getting excited about what the Lord was doing, and how he was letting me feel. The Lord stole my heart for like the next 15 min. My heart was racing and my lips were singing. Funny words and off pitch, bad. I tried to cotinue singing but i had to stop. My wouth wasn't producing words, but laughter seconds later. The joy of the LORD had come. He let me see the way He sees Joy. How He feels Joy. Laughter. The product of Joy.

What a precious gift.

Joy.