I've got the shakes today.

Why do i feel so shaky?
I just ate.
I ate, I ate.
I feel so so shaky now.
Coffee, cereal, a bowl of soup.
I still feel so shaky.

I feel so angry. I feel so CRAZY.
Why?
WTF?
For real.

Work. Work and Work and work all day.
Sit and Sit and Sit and dread.
WASTE WASTE WASTE
so much time.

Why can't you help me out?
Come on, please.
Let me not have a job for once.
Just for this one time,
make it easy on me, please?

No way, JOSE.
No way Alexandre.
You can only eat and feel like shit.

Work makes me money, makes me hungry, and makes me shaky.

January.

I never would have know it was going to be so hard. Detoxing and all. I've decided to work on myself. In a way I've never done before. It's all new and junk. It's going to be good in the long run, I think. Sometimes I wonder if it's actually worth it. I think it is. Either way, I'm detoxing.

Yesterday at Huddle we talked about something GREAT. I really hope that it all works out the way I want it to. Evangelism is such a scary word to hear, for most people. However, it doesn't scare me at all. My heart breaks for those who are lost. The people in norman, in Oklahoma, in the States, in this country, in other countries. People need Jesus. Keep breaking our hearts so we can go to them. Deal?

From Seeds to Trees.

How is it that now I'm realizing everything?

Everything to be realized, I've done it. I know I have.

That's not really true...

But I have realized that it's been almost three and a half years since I was in August 24, 2007.

I can't get this place out my my brains.

Even though I've been everywhere.

Z-Town

M-Town.

B-Town.

S-Town.

E-Town.

S-Town.

M-Town.

and

S-Town.

It's time to go to

A- town now.

A town is going to be like this:

Filled with music. To be filled with Music. To be filled with Jesus. With the Lord.

To work. ARt work. CREATE. Become more like the King. The CREATOR. To be like the creator, and create as often as possible. To be inspired. To watch documentaries. To Read. To listen. To be in class for the first time in over two years. To dream more dreams in Sufjan. In beautiful color. To lay in the grass. To swing into the sky with Jesus. To be alone. To be with just me. To love the things that have been created here. To grow up. To be more capable. to have opportunity. To travel. To love friends more. Want, Want I want.

So it seems..

This is a semester of growth and knowledge.

The seeds are planted. Now they need harvested and nurtured. Loved and watered.

May they not be neglected or forgotten.

May their roots grow deep and grow up tall into a marvelous Tree.